Eagles On My Face: Online Dating, A Brief Synopsis

I sit on my couch

and wink at you.

The wink goes into space

then back to your computer,

balanced on your fat stomach,

which you've cropped out

of all your photos.

Why Eagles on My Face?

Eagles on My Face, or anyone's, could be a

criminal sentence for a horrible crime,

one that's not quite horrible enough

for the death penalty. The defendant

is hereby sentenced to Eagles on Her Face.

But, Eagles on My Face, or yours, is not a

criminal sentence. It was a misunderstanding.

My brother had called me two weeks before

Christmas to tell me to tell our mother to

order him "Angels on My Face"--a gentle

facial scrub made of ground almonds and

soothing lavender oil. I heard him say

"Eagles on My Face."

So, I Googled that, and of course,

"Eagles on My Face did not match

any documents." Neither did

"Angels on My Face," because

my brother had gotten it wrong, too.

It's "Angels on Bare Skin,"

for anyone who's interested

in wasting $10 dollars on a

3.5 oz medieval soap recipe

distributed by Lush.

You'd be much better off wasting

your time reading my blog.

Eagles On My Face